Podcasting: Who Do I Think I Am!?

Hello lovely reader. I'm kind of proud of myself right now. I've blogged on here for the second time in a year. Ha! Twice in the same year! I haven't done that in awhile! This has become kind of an annual thing.

Why do I break this annual streak? I'm trying to podcast. I'm currently writing at a coffee shop for future podcast episodes. I have 9 books and 1 latte with me. I am working, but I feel like I've bumped against a wall. I wouldn't call it writers block, but more like I've-been-doing-this-for-two-days-straight-with-barely-a-break-my-brain-hurts block. I planned to work yesterday through tomorrow straight. I still will probably, though I probably won't get as much done as I had originally planned and that's probably okay. If somehow you've missed that I've started a podcast, check out www.facebook.com/apologeticssimplified or www.apologeticssimplified.com. Scrolling the posts or webpage should bring you up to date.

Doing this podcast has been harder than I expected. It's not the research, learning to audio edit, constructing the episodes, creating the websites, or learning how to show up on places like Spotify. That's just learning stuff. I've been in school nonstop since I was 5. I can learn.

The hardest part has been self-doubt.

I recently read Fierce Faith by Alli Worthington. It's a book about fear and how to overcome it. I highly recommend it. As I read it I realized how much of my own life is consumed by or at least touched by fear. I won't go into right now. Read the book and you'll see! But I have found fear to be so prevalent as I start this podcast.

My mind is bombarded with questions. Can I really do this? Can I handle the workload? Will people hate it? Or worse, will anyone care? Will it help anyone? Why am I bothering to create another apologetics podcast? Why me? There's much better apologists than me out there, surely? Am I just full of myself? Every time I go to do something big the self-doubt comes out from my heart and attacks me. I went to hit "publish" on my website and I froze. What am I doing? I can't do this. I pushed publish anyway. I published the welcome episode. Who do I think I am? I created the advent episode (releasing Dec 18... be excited) today. Who am I to talk about this?

Why do I share all this with you? I'm a millennial and we tend overshare on social media. It's more than that, though. I have a feeling I'm not the only person who struggles with self-doubt or some other form of fear. You might be reading this and relate on a personal level. I don't have an answer to make it all better. I do want you to know you're not alone and just because you're having self-doubt, doesn't mean that you have to listen to those voices.

I recently was watching the Netflix show Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee which is a show by Jerry Seinfeld and it's exactly what the title suggests. One episode he had Jimmy Fallon on the show. Jimmy Fallon is one of my favorite TV personalities. He's hilarious and lighthearted and I love his show. While they were talking, Jerry asked Jimmy (and I'm paraphrasing here) if he wondered why people come to and watch his show. Jimmy strongly affirmed that sometimes he thinks to himself and wonders what all these people are here for and why they give a flying flip what he had to say. I found this both shocking and comforting. Jimmy Fallon has self-doubt. JIMMY FALLON. If he has he these feelings, I feel pretty secure in saying that self-doubt is just part of the human experience.

Do you have self-doubt too? Welcome to the club. Whatever your self-doubt is saying, push on. If you're comfortable sharing, I'd love to hear any stories you have about how you've overcome self-doubt in your own life. Thanks for reading my ramblings. If you're a person of faith, please pray for me as I embark on this podcasting journey.

Heart Surgery Update: Wife Edition

It's been over a year since I've blogged. To some degree I can't believe I put it off so long, but mainly I can't believe January 2017 was already over a year ago! Last time I wrote around the issue of my battle with uterine fibroids. It lead to a full abdominal myomectomy to remove a large fibroid just a couple months after writing. Now I write from a hospital room for my husband who just had open vascular surgery a few days ago. I think my husband and I need a pact: let's leave the organs in our core alone for awhile! :)

I joke, but frankly this is different. It's open vascular surgery which automatically makes it intense. On top of that though, we've had a pretty serious role reversal. Phill doesn't seem to know it, but he's a natural caretaker and nurturer when someone he loves is suffering. I've been through several surgeries as a kid, at least one in college, two since we've been married, and I'm a general klutz so I run into things a lot. He's good at nurturing; I'm good at suffering. It's the perfect relationship. Things are different now. Now I am figuring out what it means to care for my normally very independent husband.

People have been asking me how I'm doing with all this. If you asked me this and I ignored your question, it's because I haven't had an answer. Truthfully, I'm still trying to put into words how I am doing. Hence why I'm writing this blog post. Waiting the many hours between when they took him to the operating room and when they let me see him in recovery was heart wrenching. When I learned I could see him, I thought it would be a huge sigh of relief. Though he was asleep when I got in, it was comforting seeing his chest rising and falling as well as seeing his solid numbers they were monitoring (pulse, blood pressure, oxygen, etc). What wasn't comforting was everything else. My lively husband had gray lips. His skin was white. He was hooked up to a million things. When he woke up he was in pain, though he fell asleep promptly so it didn't last long. His color returned the very next day and he's made incredible progress, but that image hung with me. How could someone so lively look so... dead?

Since then I've been trying to discover my role in all this: how do I take care of him? How do I take care of me? I've discovered some ways to do this since Thursday: going on walks by myself, sleeping when I can, holding his hand as they pull long tubes out of his chest, providing emotional support for him, and learning how I will assist him when it's time to come home. I don't think I realized how emotionally and physically draining it is taking care of another person - especially a person I love so dearly.

So how am I doing? Most of the time I'm drained. I'm ready to have him home and ready to watch his progress. But I'm also grateful. I'm grateful that we've received so much love and support from our closest loved ones. I'm grateful that we are at one of the best heart hospitals in the country. I'm grateful that Phill refuses to let anything stop him from pushing forward and recovering. Sure, I'm tired and worn, but I'm also secure. I'm secure in our incredible support system and most importantly in the hands of God. My prayer time is mostly me sitting in quiet saying, "Father, I'm so tired. I need help." Right now that's enough.

Break the Stigma

All day I have been seeing Women’s March pictures from the marches around the nation. I’ve seen friends and family participating. I’m thankful to live in a time where women have the freedom to fight for the things we believe in boldly. Part of that freedom is making each other and our dear men friends and family aware of some of the challenges we face. One of the things that feels out of balance is the stigma around some of problems in a women’s reproductive system versus that of a man. I don’t place blame on anyone for this, man or woman, but I figure I can do my part to break that stigma by telling my story. I’m frankly a little nervous about sharing this, but I hope my voice can give other women the strength to be honest about their struggles.

Let me get the taboo words out of the way as we begin: Blood. Period. Tampons. Diva Cup. Pads. Cramps. Sex. Pain. Pain during sex. There we go; let’s begin.

In June of 2015 I had just graduated from college and I was busy at a full-time “job” of planning a wedding set for August. My husband and I waited until our wedding night to have sex so at this point I was educating myself about birth control. Things were great and going well until I started to notice my period acting strange. It was lasting longer, bleeding harder, and causing more pain. This continued each month. I figured I was stressed and ignored it.

I got married to my incredible husband in August 8 and was no longer a virgin. I was frankly unaware of what to expect during sex, but I figured the occasional pain and the bleeding that ensued every time afterwards (not just the first time) was not normal.  I went to the doctor and, long story short, learned I had a uterine fibroid (a benign tumor). After months of incredibly long periods (a month or so), terribly heavy bleeding, uncontrollable pain, being exhausted to the point that I had to skip my afternoon classes on a regular basis, having almost no energy, and just being tired of dealing with it all, I finally had the surgery to have it removed. (It was an inch in diameter, in case you’re curious.)

Things improved vastly after the very short recovery time. My doctor was upfront and told me I would likely get another one seeing as I already had them at a mere 22 years of age. I understood and accepted this, but figured it would be a few years before it was a problem again. That was February 2016. I had energy, I bled completely normal periods, and I felt great. Things had turned around until October 2016 hit and my period started a week early and lasted two weeks. And then November’s started a week early again and was heavier. It progressed quicker than last time. I know this is graphic, but I warned you: It's been so bad that, for a couple days, each hour I was bleeding twice what an average woman bleeds her whole period. Talk about exhausted. I’ve not had the sonogram to confirm it, but I know my body and I know they’re back.

I don’t tell you this story to freak you out, but to open a door. I have met and heard stories of so many women of all walks of life who suffered or are suffering through the same or similar thing. If you start having irregular bleeding or are in an insane amount of pain, go to the doctor. It might be common, but it is not okay. If you know someone who is, send them this blog and encourage them to go to the doctor. If you started noticing weird lumps or moles that grew rapidly somewhere on your body, would you not go to a doctor? We shouldn’t have to suffer in silence just because periods are gross (okay, really, they are, I admit).  But we should not have to hide it at work when you frankly feel like you’re just going to die. Be honest with how you feel. If a friend (male or female) asks you how you feel and you feel like you’re going to fall over and die because you’re in so much pain, don’t say “I’m fine!” It’s okay to be honest. Ask for prayer from those who you tell. Encourage other women who may be going through something like this. Don’t accept abnormal bleeding as normal. Get help.

I’ve pretty much ignored men so far and I want to address them. First, my husband has been so incredibly supportive. He’s heated up my heading pad (best invention ever), bought pads and tampons by himself, rushed home as soon as he could to take care of me, and has been so encouraging through some long nights and tough conversations. Men, I know it may be uncomfortable, but I encourage you to be open and receptive if the conversation comes up. Your support and prayers are so encouraging. We love you and we value your friendship. Women, don’t be afraid to have honest conversations. If you have a male friend you trust, talk to him. Fight the stigma around this by communicating.

Despite the problems we fight in our own bodies, our bodies are incredible. They create and birth humans. They create nutritional milk for said humans. God created our bodies to do absolutely amazing things despite the problems all of us have in one way or another. Be proud of your body and what it can do. Take care of it. Don’t be ashamed of it. Talk to people. Get help. Break the stigma.

***** Side Note: There’s a lot of opinions around the women’s march. Here’s my two cents for what it’s worth. I am a pro-life Christian feminist. Yes, it’s a thing. I believe peaceful and respectful protests are a good thing. For instance, the shooting in Dallas during the summer of 2016 was during a very peaceful Black Lives Matter protest.  I was blown away by the support the Black Lives Matter protesters showed to the Dallas cops after the fact. It was beautiful. I believe life begins at conception. I realize abortion is a lot more complicated than many of us want to admit, but I do believe the life of the choice-less child should be pursued and I believe just as firmly that the church should surround these women with all the love and support they have to offer despite the marital status of the woman. I am a feminist in that I believe in equality of men and women. We have come so incredibly far. But just because things are better, does that mean we should just settle? If you are cooking a chicken and it’s halfway done, it’s more edible than it was before, but surely you’re not going to eat the thing until it’s done? Silly example, but I think it’s a good thing to continue to pursue true equality (note: not women greater than men, but women simply having the same rights, written and unwritten, as men). I love my male friends and family. I harbor no ill will. I am a Christian and I strive to share the love and light of Christ to everyone I meet. I believe we should treat each other with respect and love, regardless of political or religious opinion. This has nothing to do with what the aforementioned article was about, but I figured I’d keep you from reading between the lines and just tell you what I believe about a few of these things.

Beauty after beauty

I am sitting in the Turpin Library at DTS very excited because I have an entire 45 minutes "free"! I say "free" because there's always something to be doing in seminary, but none of it is due within 24 hours. Thus, "free". It is a cold but beautiful day here in Dallas. I am enjoying admiring it from the inside of the warm and wind-free library.

It is indeed beautiful in Dallas. The city is one of the prettiest and cleanest cities I have ever seen. The sky seems bigger here and there's always something to do as long as you know where to look. We've ventured out of Dallas before and also seen a lot of beautiful things. We've seen waterfalls and hills in Oklahoma, lakes filled with fish, and a sky that seemed to stretch out forever over the flat terrain. It has certainly been an adjustment moving from the southeast filled with humidity and mountains to near the desert where it is dry and flat. But it always pays to look for beauty especially in the midst of change.

I also love seeing the beauty in the people I encounter. Since everyone I see on a day-to-day basis are still relatively new faces, I am having the opportunity to get to know them and learn who they are. I am so enjoying seeing the hand of God working in the lives of my fellow believers and seeing His image in every person I meet and get to know.

With the onset of spring, everything seems to have turned green! (My chiweenie doesn't see the beauty in it, however. She just makes sure to taste it all making walking her a chore.) In between sneezes I am enjoying seeing all the new flowers on trees and how lush it has become. There are many parks near where we live, but we have found one that has become completely green besides the path we walk on. The trees make it feel like you've escaped into some oasis. It is beautiful and refreshing.

God has been teaching me to rely on Him through all this change and through the challenges we have faced the past few months. I have learned that though this is hard to learn, it can be beautiful too because the process of learning to rely on God makes me more of the person I should be. When I try to rely on my own will, things are ugly, challenging, and not rewarding. Relying on God, however, things are beautiful, still challenging, but very rewarding simply because of the presence of God in the things I am doing. I hope that whatever you are doing or going through, you will rely on Him and let Him show you the beauty He has in store.

7 points from 108 days

Today marks too long since I last blogged. It also marks my 108th day of marriage, 99th day since we moved to Texas, and 92nd day as a full-time seminary student. I'm not sure it's possible to catch you up on even half of what has happened in these 108 days. Instead I will tell you about the big things and what we've learned.

First and foremost, God is good. He truly is the provider, counselor, and father.

Second, change is hard. I don't mean it's uncomfortable and no fun. It's just really difficult. Moving, starting a new career, getting married, renting our first apartment, taking care of two nervous dogs... it's a lot. Like I said before, that does not mean it's no fun. It's easy to get bogged down by the change and let it be no fun. But it's amazing how beautiful and fun life can be when we choose to pursue God and look for the joy. It's there somewhere. Always. We've just got to be willing to look for it.

This brings me to my third point: marriage. It's wonderful. Challenging and difficult, but, again, that does not mean it's bad. The best things in life take work. And apart from God, my marriage is the best thing in my life. Phill and I have been through a lot in our years of dating and now our first few months of marriage. I am so thankful that God brought him into my life. He is a blessing and a joy to be married to.

Fourth, seminary is fun. I love it. I get to hang out with fellow theology nerds all day! It also has a dangerous side, though. It's so easy to get too focused on the "nerding out" that suddenly the head overtakes the heart and it turns into cold academia. If you are considering going to seminary, pick one that has a defense against that built in to their program. It's ultimately up to you, but chapel and bible studies of some sort are signs that the seminary is fighting against it. I would strongly urge you that if the seminary you are interested in does not at least recognize this as a problem, proceed with great caution if you proceed at all for your own sake. I have also learned the benefit of church away from you seminary friends with regular people who may or may not be able to give you an outlined breakdown and analysis of the book of Philemon or be able to parse Greek words. To reiterate, I love seminary and I am so happy I am here and learning more about my Savior. I just understand the risks. Again, God is good and will help us through as long as we keep our eyes on him.

Fifth, Phill and I will always be grateful for the support of friends and family who have given us what we need to keep going. Whether a card in the mail, a text, or a phone call, it has all been a blessing as we establish our life so far away.

On a lighter sixth note, yes, Texas does believe it is its own country! I have learned that their state bird is the Mockingbird, but that Mockingbird Ln in Highland Park is always crowded. I've also learned that Dallas attracts many types of people from all over the world. Due to its strong economy, it is a hub for individuals and families wanting to start new lives in America. It makes for a rich and diverse population. Texans are also some of the friendliest people. It's been easy interacting with those I encounter day to day. Oh, and there's tacos everywhere. It's amazing.

Seventh and finally, God is good. He is always there. He was with us before our marriage, on the wedding day, and every day since and forward. I have learned to trust God through rocky circumstances. I have never felt a stronger dependence on God and I am thankful for that. He is good. He provides. He loves and cares for his children. Sometimes we don't understand why he does things or allows things to happen, but what child always understands their parents actions? He always comes through which has only served to deepen our trust and faith in Him.

Fasting in the Old Testament

Lenten Series Devotional: Fasting in the Old Testament

Fasting is a practice which has been observed throughout Judeo-Christian history. In the Old Testament, fasting was often used as a way to repent or to mourn. It often accompanied prayer and signified the person surrendering to God or mourning for a loved one. We see the example of mourning in the book of Job. Job 3:24 (ESV) tells us, “For my sighing comes instead of my bread, and my groanings are poured out like water.”

Other times, however, we see this as a time for repentance and reconciliation. In the third chapter of Jonah the people of Nineveh receive the warnings through the prophet Jonah that God was going to destroy their city because of their sin. When the king heard the message, he chose to believe the message and tried to save his city.

“The word reached the king of Nineveh, and he arose from his throne, removed his robe, covered himself with sackcloth, and sat in ashes. And he issued a proclamation and published through Nineveh, “By the decree of the king and his nobles: Let neither man nor beast, herd nor flock, taste anything. Let them not feed or drink water, but let man and beast be covered with sackcloth, and let them call out mightily to God. Let everyone turn from his evil way and from the violence that is in his hands. Who knows? God may turn and relent and turn from his fierce anger, so that we may not perish.”” Jonah 3:6-9 (ESV)

Nineveh chose to fast and repent hoping God would, “relent and turn from his fierce anger.” In the end, God did choose to do this and spared Nineveh because of their repentance through fasting. As Christians, we fast during the season of Lent also as a sign of repentance from our sin. However, we have a promise and a hope Nineveh did not. We know that Christ died for our sins. We are always forgiven as long as we repent and turn from our sin. During this journey of repentance, fasting, and prayer, remember that we are on our way to holy week. This means a cross and also forgiveness. We know our fasting is not what saves us, but rather fasting is an example of us humbling ourselves before our mighty and loving God as the people of Nineveh did.

https://bible.org/seriespage/chapter-1-fasting-old-testament-and-ancient-judaism-mourning-repentance-and-prayer-hope-g

http://www.angelfire.com/in/HisName/fasting.html

https://bible.org/seriespage/appendix-2-fasting-scripture                                                 

http://www.esvbible.org/Jonah+3/

Reflection Questions:

1) Read Jonah 3. What can we learn from the people of Nineveh?

2) Why do you think fasting has historically been a sign for repentance?

3) How can you use the fasting this week as a form of repentance and turning back to God?

Lent Devotional Series

My friend and I are doing a Lenten project for a religion class. The full project for us and the participants includes an emailed devotional each Monday, fasting a particular item each Tuesday, and a meeting to discuss what we have learned and reflected on during the week on Thursday. I will be posting the devotional piece of this project on here. I hope that you may find it beneficial during this season.

Lent begins on Ash Wednesday and traditionally lasts 40 days excluding Sundays since Sundays are considered “little Easters.” On Ash Wednesday many believers go to their churches to participate in this service which reminds us of our mortality and need for repentance to begin our journey of preparation before Holy Week.¹ During the service the pastor makes an ash mark of a cross on the forehead of the participant and says, “From dust you came, and to dust you will return.” The ashes traditionally are from the branches of Palm Sunday. As theupperroom.org says, “The palms that were waved in joy became ashes of sorrow.” ¹

The season of Lent begins on Ash Wednesday, but the end of Lent is different depending on which tradition you follow. The Catholic Church recognizes the season of Lent on Holy Thursday ² (or Maundy Thursday as it is referred to in the United Methodist Church), while the United Methodist Church recognizes the end of Lent on Holy Saturday³, the Saturday before Easter. According to the United Methodist Church, “Lent is a time of repentance, fasting and preparation for the coming of Easter. It is a time of self-examination and reflection.” ³

It is unclear who exactly developed the concept of Lent. Some suggest that it began in the apostolic age. Others believe that there is not enough information to support this, but that we can tell it began to develop in concept within the first three centuries of the Church. It seems, in its earliest form, believers during the apostolic age would fast on Fridays to remember Christ’s death. Over time, it is believed this tradition became holy week. At some point the concept of preparation for this holy week developed. ⁴

Historically, the Catholic Church has asked its adult members abstain from meat (except fish) on Ash Wednesday and the Fridays of Lent. The also ask that they have one full meal a day with two much smaller meals only if needed to maintain strength to perform their day-to-day tasks. Overtime this has changed. Many people nowadays choose something to fast during Lent which tends to be a distraction from their relationship with Christ or something they do often in order to be constantly reminded of this preparation for holy week and develop a deeper and renewed relationship with the Savior. ⁵

A period of 40 days has often been a time of preparation. Jesus wandered in the wilderness with the Holy Spirit for forty days and fasted. Even Moses was in the presence of God for 40 days fasting on Mount Sinai in preparation to receive the commandments. ⁶ The season of Lent is also a time of preparation for us as believers.

As we begin our journey of Lent together, let us remember we are participants in an old history of believers gone and current believers. In your fasting, preparation, and reflection, you are participating with many believers all over the world in this tradition. As the author of Hebrews reminds us, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us” (12:1).  

Reflection Questions:

1) What do you think is the benefit of beginning Lent on Ash Wednesday with the reminder of "from dust you came and to dust you will return"? How does it set the tone for the rest of the season?

2) What do you think is the benefit of ending Lent on Holy Thursday or Holy Saturday? Do you feel doing one or the other has more significance?

3) What do you think about the original Lent fasting schedule of the Catholic Church as described above?

4) Though we only fast on Tuesdays during this journey, how will you use the whole season of Lent as a time of preparation and repentance through self-examination and reflection?

1 http://www.upperroom.org/lent101

2 http://www.aboutcatholics.com/beliefs/lent-in-the-catholic-church/

3 http://www.umc.org/what-we-believe/what-is-lent-and-why-does-it-last-forty-days

4 http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/09152a.htm

5 http://www.aboutcatholics.com/beliefs/lent-in-the-catholic-church/

6 http://www.catholiceducation.org/en/culture/catholic-contributions/history-of-lent.html

Thankful

The past few weeks I have been working on a hashtag project on Facebook which I am calling #leahsthankful37 where I post something I am thankful for each weekday. This is going to become one of those posts. Often I choose my topic based on something I am struggling or busy with. Writing the post reminds me why I am doing said thing and that though it may feel burdensome or unpleasant now, it is actually a blessing.

Today is one of those types of posts.

A little over four months ago I lost my Aunt Natalie. Today would have been her birthday. Today it would be easy to be filled with sadness, but I refuse. Do I miss her? Of course. Nearly every day. But today I choose to remember the good.

We all make mistakes. We are a fallen people. At the end of your life, would you rather be remembered for the bad you did or the good? The good, of course.

So, this is how I choose to remember Natalie. She was a fun aunt. Visits with her were full of silly cat videos, stand up comedy, and always UNO. That was a must. These times were filled with silliness and laughter. I cherish these memories.

Today I am thankful for all those times and for my aunt. I am also thankful that Phill got to experience her and these times even though it was only once. I thank God that He orchestrated that visit especially.

I love you, Natalie.

5 Good Things Happening in the World

I don't know about you, but this week has just felt like bad news after bad news after more bad news. I want to take a moment to highlight five good things happening in the world. I hope they remind you that despite the terrors going on in the world, there are still good things. Always remember to look for the good, my friends.

1) This one is for a friend. Happy 5th "transplantiversary" and being cancer free to my friend Erin. Yay!

2) A black man receives his diploma 55 years later "after being denied graduation for refusing to accept racism." Read more here.

3) There are brilliant little children in this world helping to make it a better place. For example, this little girl created a backpack to make it easier on children with cancer (such as herself) to go to school.

4) And here's another brilliant kid who created a foldable bedroom to help with disaster relief.

5) The Fields Award (the highest math honor) has been given to a woman for the first time.

Not all love is equal

There is much debate in recent days about love. Is there such thing as true love? Does love really last? And most recently... is all love equal?

To answer the last question: No. All love is not equal. Let me stop here and say this is not about homosexuality. That said, this was inspired by pro-homosexual marriage art. Regardless of where you stand on the issue, you know what it is and what is being said. Our homosexual brothers and sisters are saying, "We can love just like you do. All love is equal."

Like I said, I am not addressing that first claim. I do not have enough insight even into my best friend's life to know if she loves just like I love, so why would I make a judgement call about someone I do not know and how they love?

This is what I am disagreeing with: "All love is equal." Let me assure you, it is not.

See, I know that my parents love each other. They demonstrate it through many ways including kindness, communication, and commitment. I know many people deeply and romantically love another person. I think that's great. But such a love looks like hate compared to the love of just one other.

This love created you and me. This love gave us a way out and back into relationship when we cheated on him. This love has done this very thing a million times. And then, when his lover committed ultimate betrayal, he died for his lover anyway.

This love isn't full of mushy feelings and kisses and hugs. This love isn't a puppy love full of emotion. This love showed his lover how much he loves with his very life.

So, not all love is equal.

All human love, parental and romantic and friendship alike, pales in comparison to the love of this one.

So remember your true love, Jesus Christ, and know that he will love you more than any human could. He will love you when you turn around and betray him. He will love you enough to ask you to come back again and again and welcome you with open arms every time.

Crackling Trees

I woke up to crackling trees.

I didn't know what it was at first, but once I peered out my window and saw the clear blue sky and ice falling from the trees, it became pretty evident.

I've never been a winter-loving girl. Warm beaches and even hard work under a hot sun seem more appealing.  

So as I watch the sun melt the trees as they let the ice fall, I am reminded of the newness of life which this world and, most of all, our Heavenly Father brings.  

Life is always going to have its storms- even in Georgia! But the storm, the cold, the winter is never the end of the story. Spring always comes. With Spring comes new life. The plants begin to sprout flowers and leaves. The earth bursts in color. I just love Spring.  

This also proves true in our lives. Storms of many kinds come. Some stay only for a moment, others feel as if they will never end. But let me assure you, friend, Spring will come again. You will look outside and realize it's all melting away.  

You will hear the crackling of trees.  

"All around them, though out of sight, there were streams chattering, bubbling, splashing and even (in the distance) roaring. And his heart gave a great leap (though he hardly knew why) when he realised that the frost was over."
- C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Days 5 & 6

I am going to do a general synopsis of the past two days.

We have been to the Capitolino Museum and many beautiful museums, galleries, and churches. I will be honest & say I don't remember many of the names of the places, but they were all so beautiful.

In particular, today we went to one Church that took my breath away. The ceiling demonstrated Christ as a bright light with angels and people glowing in His light. Here is the amazing part: the artist went beyond just the main ceiling and spread it to the sides of the very top of the wall. Additionally, he painted on a very believable shadow from the light Jesus was casting. My description is awful but I hope you get the picture. It was wonderful.

Later, we went back to the Pantheon & got to see the beautiful sky in the big open dome. I continue to find it fascinating where the Catholic & old Roman god cultures have collided. So many temples like the Pantheon that were once dedicated to a roman god (or gods) are now churches for Jesus Christ.

As I was walking around these beautiful churches I realized something. These churches are beautiful & overwhelming. However, they will be like nothing compared to the glory we will find in heaven. What a wonderful thing to know.

Rome Trip: Days 3&4

Day 3

Today we went to the Colloseum, the Roman Forum, and the Borghese Gallery.

You can almost feel the rich history in each of those places. Stepping into the Colloseum was like stepping into a history book except Much more interesting and I could touch the walls and columns myself.

There were many inscriptionsand carving in the walls including 3 very simple crosses. I find it amazing that the place that used to be used to torture & kill Christians has been made almost a Memorial for those people & a place to honor the faith. Such is true for much of Rome. What was once a pagan city full of idolatry & Persecution of Christians is now the place that has almost become the Christian (or at least Catholic) home.

Next, we went to the Roman Forum. It was quite beautiful as well. I find it fascinating how the culture behind the Roman gods integrated still into the faith here in Italy. Everything seemed to have some connection to Jupiter even in Christian faith settings. I guess it would be hard (and maybe even foolish) to erase & move on from that part of their history & culture. It is not like they are worshiped as gods anymore, but rather are symbols of power, stories, or simply heritage.

For example, we went to the Borghese Museum today. In it was a magnificent sculpture by Bernini depicting the story of Apollo & Daphne. The super short version is Apollo saw Daphne & fell in "love"(I use that word loosely here), but she did not love him too so tried to run away. In order to save her from being raped, her father transformed her into a beautiful Laurel Tree. The sculpture depicts her as she is being transformed right as Apollo has reached for her. She is beautiful and he looks amazingly stunned!

The point? Don't be fooled into following lustful desires. You may be surprised what you find when you do! So the gods? Of course not real.The moral lesson to be learned? Alive & well.

Day 4

The Vatican.

I need say no more! But I will anyway. However, I don't know what to say!

The are certain things so magnificent that there is no good way to describe them. Take the Sistine chapel for example.

Overwhelming. Amazing. Beautiful. I feel I should say more on the subject but all my words fall short.

However, I will continue my previous thought on how the merge of the Roman god culture & the Christian faith. There were many statues of Roman gods in the Vatican itself. Maybe it shouldn't have, but that surprised me!

How fascinating is it that the states commemorating the Roman gods sit In the same Museum for the faith & Jesus Christ. How interesting. Again, it is a huge part of the history & culture.

Another thing: I knew the Catholics have a huge amount of respect for Mary, but our tour guide made it sound like they believe she is sinless. Very interesting & strange to me. Does anyone know what is thu official Catholic belief on that? I would love to know.

Finally, we ended our day at the Pantheon after the sun had set. It was so grand and larger than life. It was so magnificent that it almost seemed unreal. Amazing.

I finally ended my evening with one of my best friends, a croissant, and a heavenly cappuccino. What a day.

Rome Trip: Days 1&2

Days l and 2 felt like the same day so I am going to lump them together.

Day 1 we were on an airplane and day 2 we landed.Once we got on the bus we went on a driving tour through Rome with our tour guide. we got off a few times to look at churches. One in particular was incredible. It was the Santa Maria. It had beautiful Bernini sculptures and was more beautiful than I could possibly describe.  

We had the afternoon free so a group of us went walking around Rome. We ate delicious food and had some great gelato!  

The next few days we will be visiting the historic sites of Rome Including the Vatican. It's crazy to think that Peter & many other people in the Bible walked the same streets I will be walking the next few days. It's so humbling and brings a sense of connection to the fathers of our faith. When I go to the Vatican I will see the spot believed to be where Peter was crucified. Wow. Amazing that what was once a place of persecution for Christians is how a tiny country for the father of the Catholic church, God does work in mysterious ways! On a funny and similar note: our tour guide kept differentiating between "Christians" and "Protestants".  You know you're in a primary Catholic area when... :)

I'm so excited for what these next few days will bring.

Calling & Purpose

Simple Thing: Calling & Purpose

This may not seem so simple. In fact it may seem quite the opposite. How can we ever know our purpose here on earth?

Good news: Jesus told us our purpose. Mark 5 describes a man who had been possessed by a legion of demons. Jesus cast the demons into the pigs which freed the man of his former possessed life. The man was more than grateful. He wanted to follow Jesus but Jesus' command to him was simple: Go and tell what mercy the Lord has shown you.

That is still our calling today.

Too often in the church the words "calling" and "purpose" are used only for those going into vocational ministry. However, being called to do something is not nearly that limited.

Recently I went to see an old family friend at his place of work: a barber shop. His haircuts are always excellent, and the conversations are always a joy.

In discussing school and careers he told me he felt being a barber was a calling for him. He has had the opportunity to not just cut hair, but also to be an ear for people who just need to talk. To him, cutting hair is a ministry to people.

See, you don't have to be Billy Graham or Pope Francis to make a difference or impact for God. Simply spread the Gospel right where you are.

"Rejoice always!
Pray constantly.
Give thanks in everything,
for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
l Thessalonians 5:16-18 (HCSB)

Blog on blogging from a blogger

Why hello, blog! It's been awhile.

Blogs are funny things. They are open to anyone with access to the internet. People's beautifully written poetry, thoughts, and ideas can be recorded in their blog. Similarly, people's unorganized, grammatically flawed, and unedited thoughts and whatever else may end up on a blog. 

There are so many blogs.

I don't have a figure, but if you pick a phrase and then add ".blogspot.com" to it, you are likely to come up with a blog. I just did twice and got a blog both times.

Some blogs are private. Some are just for fun. And some blogs get really big! Take the Pioneer Woman for example. It went from a food blog to a food network show.   

I'll be honest, I don't have a great takeaway from this post, but I have been scrolling through my News Feed on Facebook and seen blog after blog after blog being posted from a variety of blogs that somehow got big (like Pioneer Woman). Next time you're on Facebook, look at how many blogs you see. Are there trends in the topic?

I wonder if blogs are changing the way we learn news, what is hip and popular, and the things important to our generation and culture. What do you think?

World Communion Sunday

"World Communion Sunday offers congregations a distinctive opportunity to experience Holy Communion in the context of the global community of faith. The first Sunday of October has become a time when Christians in every culture break bread and pour the cup to remember and affirm Christ as the Head of the Church. On that day, they remember that they are part of the whole body of believers." ¹

Many times it feels like the different denominations are so divided. For instance, when you go to list your religion many places have Methodist, Presbyterian, Baptist, etc as all different religions.  However, there are moments of unity.

On World Communion Sunday, as said above, we remember that we are one body of Christ.  Today at my church I paid more attention to the communion liturgy than normal. One section struck me as beautiful for the first time.

"Pour out your Holy Spirit on us gathered here,
and on these gifts of bread and wine.
Make them be for us the body and blood of Christ,
that we may be for the world the body of Christ,
redeemed by his blood."
- United Methodist Hymnal, page 14

Redeemed by his blood
We have been saved, bought, redeemed by His death and the blood that He shed. What response can we have to that? What can we do? Thankfulness is natural, but how can we demonstrate our appreciation?

That we may be for the world the body of Christ
Live like He did. Do this in order to show others how amazing He is that others might know Christ personally as well.

Make them be for us the body and blood of Christ
And so, we all commune together to share in remembering this glorious event.

So, brothers and sisters, remember that we are all one body. Go out into the world and be the body of Christ because you have been redeemed!

Happy World Communion Sunday!

Faith

Simple thing: faith.

Sarah laughed.
Zechariah doubted and become temporarily mute.

It seems so hard to have faith. Doubt is a much easier route, such as with Sarah and Zechariah. Surely it's not simple. There's so many things to consider! Namely, it's hard to put your faith in something you can't see. In fact, the idea is crazy, right?

Think about a traffic light for a moment. Imagine you're in the protected left lane and it turns green. How do you know those cars coming towards you are going to stop? How do you know their light is actually red? Faith. A whole lot of faith.

Faith in God is kind of the same way. Sometimes it seems dangerous, but we know from experience it works. My brother is going to be getting his driver's license soon. As a driver rather than a passenger, he doesn't have much experience to trust the system. Instead, he has to trust his teachers - our mom and dad - who do have experience. Again, our faith in God is like this.

Ultimately, you must decide to have faith on your own, but listen to those you trust. Watch their lives. What makes them different? Often, it is faith. Let your peers and mentors be a beacon to you.

Let me add, this is not faith in some distant, removed deity. It's a faith in a God who came to us as one us, Emmanuel. He understands you as your Creator and as a human. He died and broke the curse of death by rising again. He did it for you. This is the God I put my faith in. I hope you will too.

Trust

Simple thing: trust.

"Aren't two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father's consent. But even the hairs of your head have all been counted. So don't be afraid therefore; you are worth more than many sparrows."
- Matthew 10:29-31

"Lord, You have searched me and known me.
2 You know when I sit down and when I stand up;
You understand my thoughts from far away.
3 You observe my travels and my rest;
You are aware of all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue,
You know all about it, Lord.
5 You have encircled me;
You have placed Your hand on me."
- Psalm 139:1-5

God knows us completely. He knows even the details about us that we wish he didn't. Still, he loved us enough to die and still loves us to this day. Psalm 139 continues on to say, "This extraordinary knowledge is beyond me. It is lofty; I am unable to reach it."

Rest in this "extraordinary knowledge" and trust that if he knows you this completely, he is worthy of your daily trust. For if he is eye is on the smallest sparrow, don't you think he watches over you? Rest in his peace and trust in Him each new day.

Good News

Simple things: good news.

It's hard to keep it a secret, isn't it? When something really good happens you want to tell all your friends. Matthew 9: 27-31 tells the story of Jesus healing two blind men. He sternly warns them, "Be sure that no one finds out!" What do they do? They go out and "spread the news about Him throughout the whole area." I know Jesus told them not to, but I can hardly blame them! This happens repeatedly in the gospels. 

Sometimes a preceding factor of good news is obedience. 2 Kings 5: 1-19 describes the commander's of Israel's army being healed of a skin disease. It wasn't quite as straightforward as you might think, though. Elisha the prophet told him to "go wash seven times in the Jordan and your flesh will be restored and you will be clean." Oh, but Naaman, this commander, got angry. Why dip in the Jordan? Why not another river? Why does he have to do this at all? Couldn't Elisha heal him by the wave of a hand? In the end, he did as he was told and was grateful.  He tried and tried to give Elisha a monetary gift for his healing which brought such good news to Naaman. However, Elisha would not accept them. Still, Naaman's joy and thankfulness at this good news is clear. He even put his faith in the God of Israel alone.

So why did Elisha have him wash in the Jordan 7 times? Why does that even matter? Doesn't that sound a little superstitious? Maybe it is more than the act itself. Rather, asking him to wash 7 times in Jordan tested his obedience to a prophet of God, and further, to God himself. 

Good news is a wonderful thing and hard thing to keep a secret. Fortunately, we don't have to keep the Gospel a secret! Often, good news first requires faith and obedience. Remember today that the best news our world has ever received is what Jesus did for us. Even when you can't find any other good news in your life, know that the gospel of Jesus Christ, and more importantly the person of Jesus Christ, is with you always.  Let that good news permeate your life through obedience so that all the world may know what Jesus did for us.

Note: All scriptures from Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB).