Peter and the Crucifixion

In light of Holy Week I have been reflecting on the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus. Seeing as Easter is not until tomorrow, let us focus on the crucifixion. At a Maundy Thursday service I listen to the story being read from the gospel of Matthew. He went from celebrating Passover with his disciples to dying a humiliating, torturous, painful death on a sinner's cross.

Who would I have been in that story? Maybe one of the Jews screaming for crucifixion for the "liar". Maybe one of the women mourning for Jesus. Honestly though, I think I would have been Peter. Afraid, confused, and terrified.

My instinct would have been the same as his when the guards came to take Jesus away. "What do I do now? They are about to take my Lord! I must defend him." Then pull out my weapon and start swinging. The fact that he only got the ear of the slave is a good indication of his dazed state due to pure confusion. I would have been just as confused. I would have wanted to go down swinging.

After that? Surely, I would think, I would never deny my Lord. But when this man who healed the sick, cast out demons, and calmed the seas is now on a cross? Suddenly nothing makes sense. I am terrified. Have I been lied to for three years? Would they kill me because I am his disciple? I think I would have lied too. And in turn, when I heard the rooster, I would have wept.

I get Peter. We are on the same page. Confusion, desperation, and pure terror. What now? What next? My Savior is dead.