Thursday, December 29, 2011


Well, I've finished out this semester with a 3.8 GPA. That's pretty darn good. Successful semester right? From an academic standpoint, yes.

One thing I've learned from my first semester of college is that you learn so much more than just academics in college. One of the things I've learned is truly how much I need the relationship I have with Jesus Christ.

Throughout the semester he has continued to provide for me and take care of my needs especially when I broke my wrist.  He provided people at just the right time to help me and get to doctors to make sure everything healed properly.  However, I was not quite as faithful to Him as he was to me. Not that any human ever has been or can truly be as faithful as God is, but I did not even come close.

Long story short, I learned that singing in the choir and going to occasional Bible studies is NOT what helps you maintain a relationship with Jesus Christ. They are certainly helpful, but I must be willing to put forth the effort to seek spiritual nourishment and keep up quiet times.  I've learned that without that, no matter how much fun you are having, life feels empty.  I knew I needed to read my Bible more often and go to Bible studies that I can offer something to and likewise receive spiritual nourishment from but I did not. I offered the excuse of being busy and having no time, but I knew that was not true.

At the beginning of Christmas break I went on a trip to visit some friends and family in Florida one of which is my cousin Christie. Being with her was like walking with Jesus.  I don't know if this was intentional, but she reminded that Jesus just wants to spend time with me and of how much He loves me. To a certain degree it tore me apart because I knew I had neglected Him, but on an incredible level I felt contentment and joy. Even though I had failed to maintain a relationship with Him this semester, He still loves me. Now, all I really want to do is honor Him.  I want to live for Him like I never have before.

Even as a Christian, if you have ever felt empty at the end of the day or week or really just the end of anything, I know what you feel like. You try to fill the emptiness with more fun, more friends, and more things in general and in the short term it does relieves the emptiness. But what you truly need is time with Jesus Christ. I've been a Christian for years, but now I more understand what it means to be a Christian.  I now love Jesus because of what he did for me and I want everyone to be able to know too!  From my background I have a lot of head knowledge about the Bible, but now I have the heart to apply it. I pray that you can too.

I wish I had not strayed, but I pray God can use this testimony for good because I believe he CAN make all things work together for good. My priorities are straight now. God is at the top of my list - right where He needs to be and right where I want Him to be.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011



Don't you hate that word? CHANGE. I do. Or at least I used to.

CHANGE. It can be such a nasty thing. It can pull you out of your comfort zone. Force you to do something hard. Or even just slightly alter what is familiar.

CHANGE. It can be such a wonderful thing. It can show you what could be if you would just take a chance and trust God. It teaches you to have endurance. And even alters our perspective on things.

For me on a normal day if you ask me what I think of CHANGE, I'll probably point you to the first definition. I'll say it's a nasty thing.  However, maybe it's not.  CHANGE is hard, but I'm learning it can be wonderful.

Here's a silly little example: Anyone that knows me well knows that I am not athletic by any means whatsoever. Do you know what I just did? I ran. At 6:00AM. About a mile and a half. Have I gone crazy? Yes. I absolutely have. This is a huge CHANGE for me. Although that's a silly example, stuff like that is happening a lot to me. I realize there are ways to better myself, my relationship with others and my relationship with God.  I've also learned that if you trust God to take care of things, the change won't be too bad even if it's hard.  Just knowing that God's got a plan for whatever CHANGE is going on is a wonderful thing.

Therefore, stay walking in God's path and rest assured that whatever CHANGE comes your way, God will bring you through. There will be a lesson to learn. And in the end you will be stronger. Yes, CHANGE can be so good.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


Have you ever found yourself in a hole? You may not have actually realized you were there until after someone helped you out or you were forced out. In there, things may have seemed dark and terrifying. Maybe you wanted to get out but could not.

However, you may have decided its quite cosy in there and even though there is so much waiting for you outside, you don't care. You deny the outside's existence. You are perfectly content to be comfy.  But what happens when a storm comes? Little by little you are beginning to find yourself in a flood. You know you need to get to higher ground  but you don't know how because you have not left this place in a very long time. The flood waters are rising. You're half covered in water. Lost. There is no way to escape. Not to mention you don't really want to leave, but you're drowning.  There are no options but to leave or die.  You don't want to recognize your own helplessness to the outside world, but there are no other options.  You reach up your hand and suddenly another one meets yours. All of a sudden you are being pulled out.  The water is at your thighs now. Ankles. Feet. You are out! You are free. Your rescuer is no where to be seen. You look around.  It's nice out here. The stars are shining bright above you. But you miss the cosiness of your old home. You begin to walk around. The sky begins to lighten.  Suddenly the sun starts to appear over the trees. You see the glorious rays shining down on you.  You feel the heat pierce your skin. You look down. Grass. Beautiful green grass everywhere! Suddenly, your old quaint little home doesn't seem like much of a home anymore, but a prison.

Although you cursed it at first, you are now thankful for the storm.  If there had been no storm, you'd still be stuck in that hole. So bless the storm. Now, you are free. Where to go now? Search. Explore. Find your rescuer and thank Him. See what else may be out there. Maybe somebody else is stuck and needs a rescuer. Or maybe you find somebody else to join you in your new adventure.

All you know for sure is you will never go back to the life you had before. If you can call it a life. Now, you can finally LIVE!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Mere Mortals

Psalm 9:20 "Strike them with terror, LORD; 
   let the nations know they are only mortal."

I was reading through the Psalms this morning when I came across this verse. In context, it is about King David singing to the Lord for Him to be victorious over his enemies because He is God and is far above any mere mortal humans.

Sometimes we need to be reminded of that too. In one way, maybe we're getting too big of a head and need to cool down a bit. However, I find that more often for me I get so busy that I need a good reminder that I am only human - I can't do everything. Fortunately, I have not found myself in this spot recently, but it does happen. Sometimes I (and I'm sure I'm not the only one) I get so overwhelmed with everything going on that I feel stuck "with terror". In the long run I am glad because it brings me back to the Lord and remember that God is bigger than our business and problems. He can handle what us "mortals" can't.

So trust in the Lord. Don't be overwhelmed by life so that you have to be reminded of your weakness. Instead, trust God to handle it and take you through it.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Chapter 1: Gabriel

Mary and the Mute


“Gabriel!” roared the Lord of heavens. I say roared, but that is only because of His greatness. The “roaring” is always accompanied by a gentle tone of kindness. I immediately dropped what I was doing and went straight to Him.

“Yes, my Lord?” I said as I bowed before his heavenly throne.

“It is time for me to go into the world. I will send My Son and he will be the Savior of the Lord. So now, I need you, my messenger.”

He has been talking about this even before Adam and Eve gave in to Lucifer. Somehow, He knew they would turn away from Him, just as so many of the angels did. Yet, He gave them the opportunity to choose to do right which of course didn’t happen. The rest is history. So now He decides to save the humans.  I used to try to object. They turned away from Him. Why should He save them? And above all why should he be tortured, endure pain and die a painful death for them? However, I have learned not to object.  His love is so immense that He even loves the part of creation who, as a whole, don’t love Him. So even though I don’t understand it, it is an honor for Him to ask me to help.

“Of course.  What message would you like me to carry and to whom shall I deliver it to?”

“My priest, Zechariah.  I have allowed the lots to be cast on him to enter my sanctuary in the holy of holies.  There he will perform the most blessed priestly duties.  You will meet him in there. You will tell him that I have heard the prayer he has prayed about a child. His wife Elizabeth will bear him a son and he will name him John.  He will be filled with joy because of his son and he is great in my eyes. John is to never have any sort of alcohol and will be filled with My Holy Spirit even before he is born.  He will bring the people of Israel back to me. In addition to that, he will go before My Son like Elijah to bring parents joy in their children.  He will bring the wicked to the wisdom of righteousness.  He will prepare the people to receive My Son.”
I haven’t seen Him talk about a human like this since the prophet Malachi which, in human terms, is nearly 400 years ago. This is clearly who he spoke to Malachi about. It’s almost word for word. He has a tendency to quote Himself, but it only reiterates the fact that He certainly has a plan. But I wonder who will bear Christ. Surely it will be someone like Zechariah and Elizabeth- a godly priest of the Lord Most High and his godly wife.

“Now, go. I will give you your next message while you are on earth.”

I immediately took off. There is no time to lose.  Lucifer is always making sure it is difficult for us messenger angels to get to earth. But as strong as he and the other fallen angels are, they are no match for the Lord of Hosts.  And since I am on His side, I will prevail.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Women of Faith

Today and yesterday I attended the Women of Faith conference in Atlanta. It was fantastic to say the least.

To be honest, its audience is more directed and middle aged women, but this is one of the reasons I know God was there: I learned something too!! From every lesson, even the ones that were more for moms, I learned something.  At the very least I saw this overwhelming joy on the faces of all the women who spoke and sang. It made me go, "I want that joy".  You hear what they've been through and you may think, "How do they still have faith? How do they still believe and have that joy??". Well, that's the power of Christ's love right there. Amazing.

The theme was imagine from Ephesians 3:20, "Glory to God, who is able to do far beyond all that we could ask or imagine by his power at work within us." (CEB)

That's so cool. I like to imagine. I like to imagine what I can accomplish in college (not just academics), what God can do through me for His glory, what heaven will be like someday. I like to think about what could be. Now, that's not to say that I don't enjoy life. I do. I enjoy everything I can in this life and try to take advantage of every opportunity. But hey a girls gotta dream a little.

So, it's amazing that God is able to do FAR BEYOND all I could ask or imagine. His plan and His will is soooo far above me. I guess this is where trust comes into play. Sometimes we are faced with situations and decisions that are terribly hard or maybe just seem plain crazy. However, he sees the bigger picture and can see far beyond what I want. I just need to listen, follow and obey. He really will take care of everything. Even in the storm.

Thank you, God for teaching me that. I'm not going to go into details, but this "trust" issue with God has been a battle. I know it's not over, but I'm not going to let myself fight God anymore. I'm just going to trust Him. For example, I couldn't decide whether I was going to blog about this tonight. I almost didn't write cause I didn't feel like it. Now, I am glad I did because what I just described, I was learning as I typed it. God is helping me piece together what he's been teaching me RIGHT NOW. Praise be to God alone.

**PS. Please comment. I want to know what you think. :)
I honestly don't care how well I know you or if I know you at all. Thanks!**

Friday, July 15, 2011

LaGrange Student Orientation

5 classes
4 people in my Orientation Room
3 days in LaGrange
2 new friends
1 roommate

To say the least, orientation was amazing. We signed up for classes and learned a lot about the school.  I'm going to be in Calc II, General Chemistry, Honors English, and Choices in Film and Lit which is about the choices that characters have to make in 4 movies and 4 books. Sounds like my kind of Lit class! We also have to have a 1 month pass/fail class for freshmen. So between Calc II, Chem Lab, and that pass/fail class I have an 8 or 8:30 class every day for the first month. Boo. But hey it least I don't have to drive the 20 minutes to school I did for high school! I'm very excited about the class.

I also met my roommate! I met her through a facebook app and it's finally officially that we are going to room together! She is a really cool, fun girl who loves the Lord and music. I know this year is going to be fantastic and I am looking forward to it. I know God is going to grow me in new ways and I'm excited to see what is down this road!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

The "If God is Good..." discussion

I was on the internet tonight and found an interesting article about the goodness of God from an atheists perspective, "if" there was one that is. (in her mind)

Read this article FIRST before reading the rest of my blog.

I agree, that lady did a pretty bad job of wanting to convert her to Christianity. I get the motive, but that is an incredibly bad way to do it. It hurts me to see other Christians talk like that. Is it true? Yeah. Is it productive to use it as an argument for coming to Christ? No.

Now let's discuss what she said.

"Can you imagine if I told someone “You should really consider breastfeeding because if you don’t you will BURN IN HELL!!!” (<—-notice my tongue planted firmly in my cheek there.)"

Okay girl. Maybe I'm crazy, but breastfeeding verses other ways of feeding your child are a *little* different than God vs No God. Just a thought.

"I know that I’m a good person."

You either have the best confidence I've ever seen or the biggest head. I'm not sure which.

"Besides the fact that I have people sending me 3-5 email reminders each week telling me what a good person I am, I am a constant do-gooder.  Always have been.  Even when I was drinking and staying out all hours of the night having premarital sex with total strangers, I was still a good person."

Umm...ok. I don't get it. You say "just because I do these things doesn't mean I'm bad -- in fact I'm still good."
Going on a rabbit trail here, but so many of us think that way! "Yeah I mess up some times, but basically I'm good." Sorry, chica (or chico).  Even as Christians we try to earn our way into heaven. Sorry, it doesn't work that way.
"Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven--for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little." Luke 7:47
We have a much easier time understanding the weight of our sins AFTER we do something huge, but for those of us who haven't done anything "big", it's easier to say we're good people. And it's easier to point the finger at those who don't.  I could easier point the finger at this lady because she's spiritually sick. (It's not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick Mark 2:17) Yes, I'm poking holes in her argument, but I'm not hating on HER, just what she's saying.  No, she does not have the same values I do because (duh) she's not a Christian. I gotta love the sinner and not judge her.  I bet we'd get along just fine. Besides, I'm a sinner too. How dare I not love and respect her?

Ok now that I've chased that rabbit trail lets move on...

" I don’t cheat or steal because I believe the universe has an energy that, when disrupted, carries negativity back to that person.  Some call that Karma.  I sometimes think of it as Poe’s Tell-Tale Heart.  Call it what you will, but that’s about as spiritual as I get."

Again, call me crazy, but I think that takes more faith than believing in God. says energy is "the capacity for vigorous activity; available power".  So... the "available power" of the universe defines morality.  Last time I checked, energy doesn't reason. It's used and transferred. That doesn't even make sense.

"And to me, if there were a God, he wouldn’t be sending Good People like me to burn in hell for all of eternity just because I don’t believe in him."
Wow woman, ego!

"But I’m going to be honest with you, it’s stuff like this that makes me really scared of Religious Types.  Seriously.  I’m more terrified of a group of religious fanatics than I am a dark alley filled with gang-bangers in my old drug-infested neighborhood.  At least the gang-bangers don’t creep into my inbox telling me I’m going to burn in hell forever."

Warning to all Christians -- this is how we are perceived a lot of the time.  Don't fall into that category.  Stay close to God and speak HIS words. If it comes just from you, this could be the outcome.

Conclusion:  God is good. He made us, we screwed up, and he helped us out of the deep hole we've dug. If you're alive and breathing, you're a sinner. The reason He is so good is that he gave us 1 opportunity to get out of the eternal punishment for our sin! If that's not good, what is? We deserve hell, yet he gave us a way out.  Amazing. 

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Old Friends, New Friends

This week has been fantastic.

Thursday I went to Downtown Suwanee and explored with my friend. We got some frozen yogurt (yum), some chocolate-on-a-stick sorta things and just walked around in the park. I know this may sound fairly simple, but she's not JUST a friend I know from school, although that is true.

When I was in second grade, new neighbors moved in right next to us. We soon found out that their daughter goes to the same Christian school we do. We met and were immediately friends. She has been like a sister to me for many, many years and it was great to get to spend some time with her.

Friday me and my best friends from school went to Stone Mtn to climb the mountain and watch the laser show. Although the climb was quite rough because it was 90 degrees outside and we're all out of shape, it was a lot of fun overall! The show was so neat and I had a great time.

Speaking of Old Friends, while we were there before the show one of my close friends from elementary school showed up! It was great visiting with her. I had not seen her in a very long time.

Now that I've addressed the old friends, I am going to talk about the new ones.  Wednesday I went to Newnan, GA (near LaGrange) to meet a girl who will also be attending LaGrange College with me in the fall.  She will not be my roommate (as many of you have asked), but she is an awesome girl and I can't wait to spend more time with her.  We went to see Pirates 4 in theaters and then went to Zaxby's.  Apparently, there are no Zaxby's in Kentucky (where she is from), so it is a treat for her.

In a few weeks, I will be meeting another girl who will be going to LaGrange.

I'm in an interesting place now. I have some awesome friends from this area who have known me for awhile, and now I will be going to college where no one knows me and I'll get the opportunity to meet new people. I will literally be starting from scratch.  It's made me think that I need to think about who God wants me to be, and be that person. Not in the sense of being someone I'm not, but being more ME, who God wants me to be.  Now is the perfect opportunity to do that, and I hope God is pleased with the results. Feel free to be praying that I do just that.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

What's Good, What's Best

The questions I hate most in school are the questions where it says "Choose the best answer".  Then, proceeds to give you a multiple choice question where all other possibilities are CORRECT, but only one is the "best" choice. Gee, thanks for being so clear as mud. However, the more I think about it, the more I realize that those questions might be the best preparation for life outside school.

We are faced so often with good things: sports, music, jobs, learning, friends and so much more. Those are all good things.  The problem is, if you try to pursue all of these at once you may find yourself with no time.  Sure, now you're great at soccer, but you also have no time for your friends. Or maybe it's opposite, you want to get good at soccer, but have no time because you're with your other friends all the time.  These are simplified, small examples, but this happens so many times.

I am always busy. I don't remember not being busy. But at my senior trip and during this summer, I've discovered that relaxation is important. I need rest. Maybe I can't do everything. That's okay.

Like my blog title, I can be busy and do a lot of things in this complex world, but I have to come back to the simple things.

I'll probably always be a busy body, but I'm learning to step back and think, "Okay, this is good, but it is getting in the way of something even better".

God, help me look at those real life multiple choice questions and know immediately what's best, not necessarily easy.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Ooola la dorm stuff

Opinions necessary....which of these do you like better? :) We'll call them floral and stripes.

2 Weeks Full of Excitement

Around the time that I updated last time I had just gotten back from Choir Tour with my church. We went to Texas and and sang at at few places on the way. One of the places we went was called Schlitterbahn. It is a fun water park near Austin, TX. Many people chose to enjoy the many fun, exciting rides. One of them sent you UP stream at one point. I'm sure it was exciting. Me? Lazy River and hot tub/bar area. The whole time. It was fantastic. Me and a few middle school and high school girls tried to stay together in the lazy river. This was difficult in one of them. This one I call the not-so-lazy river. It goes around in a circle like one, but every once in awhile a huge wave would come through and send you rushing through the current. This was lots of fun because the 5 of us were trying to hold on to each other and each others tubes, but sometimes the current made that difficult!
But of course, all good things must come to an end. We had our homecoming concert Sunday and then it was back to work.  I intern at my church with the Children's Ministry and I LOVE it. So when I say "all good things must come to an end", that's not to say I was coming back to something I don't like. It was good to be home and I love my job. I work with some amazing, godly women and I'm so blessed to know and work with them.
On Wednesday my boyfriend came back from Alaska and I went to the airport with his parents to pick him up. It was really great to see him again and visit with his parents while we were waiting.
Then the next day I was on the road AGAIN. This busy body doesn't stay in one place too long! I left for Athens to visit my cousin. She goes to UGA and lives in a house that she rents with some other students. We went shopping and walking around downtown, ate at the amazing place called Casa Mia and watched some movies. By the way, if you're ever at Casa Mia, get the cheese dip. It's a roasted red pepper cream cheese served with bread and it's incredible. Anyway, I had a really good time visiting with her.
I just got home and I saw another car parked in my driveway from a neighboring county and I thought, "Who in the world is here from that county?" So I go in and it's one of my favorite teachers from school who was visiting with my mom! (They work together, it's not weird. :)) I was very excited to see her and it was nice to talk to her.

Wow this was a very long post, but clearly I've been very busy. Honestly, I'm just proud of myself for actually blogging. Maybe I'll update a little more often so it won't be as much to read at one time. :) Have a blessed and lovely day!

Monday, June 20, 2011

New Layout

Yes, I changed the layout again. Yes, I'm actually writing! What a concept-- I write in my blog.
For those of you that know me well you may be confused as to why my background is books. Well, I am going to college next year so therefore I'm going to be doing a lot of reading whether I like it or not! And I have made a college decision -- I will be going to LaGrange College in the fall. It is a small, Methodist college in (what do ya know...) LaGrange, GA (South West GA). I am very excited about that. In about a month I will be going to Orientation which I am so excited about!

In response to my last post, I have learned that my decisions are a lot easier if I stop thinking about what I am going to do. Instead, I need to think about what God needs to do and how I fit into that plan. My plan was Berry. His plan is LaGrange and I can already see how that is a better choice for me. Don't get me wrong, Berry is a great school. It's just not for me. I have learned so much other stuff since I last updated. God, even though I didn't notice at the time, has been teaching me all sorts of things about growing up, letting go and remembering that God is #1 on my priority list.

Please pray for me that I continue to stay true to God and His plan -- not my plan. Clearly, his plan is far superior to mine.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011


Have you ever been in a situation where you thought you knew EXACTLY what you were supposed to do, but later that decision was put under major questioning? Welcome to my life right now.

For a very long time I was very interested in Berry College in Rome, GA. I had visited there and loved it. It is beautiful, has a strong education and music department, and I know people who are there now and other who will be there. It seems perfect. I have a fair amount of scholarship money which is a plus and I had decided I was going to Berry College. I had other options, yes, but they were inferior to Berry, of course. However, my number two school called me one day to tell me I have been accepted to LaGrange College. That's great, being accepted places is nice. Then, he said that they would like me to come compete for the Presidential Scholarship on February 12th which would provide me a full ride tuition, room and board. Woah there. Stop. A what? Competing for a full ride to college? Me? Have you called the wrong person?? Of course I didn't say that, but it was certainly going through my head. So I figured, well this is exciting and why not? Can't hurt. So we registered and today I went for an private college visit. I was able to meet with the admissions councilor and 2 math teachers who were fun. I left realizing that I really liked this school. I had visited earlier and did like it, but I had decided on Berry so I wasn't looking seriously. But now, all that is put into question. So now is my present state. Saturday I will be going to LaGrange to compete to be one of two selected from around 66 people to receive the Presidential Scholarship. I still don't know quite where I am going to college, but that is what's going on. However, I do plan to accept the Scholarship if it is offered to me.

As long as this is, it's actually the condensed version. If you could be praying for me to do my best at this competition I would really appreciate it. I have to go through two 20 minute interviews and write a paper. The paper is the scary part, but I think I can do it. Please pray for confidence. Thank you!

Thursday, January 27, 2011


Lately I have been struggling with some health issues. I started on the medicine about a week and a half ago which I can tell us working, but as usual there are side effects one of which is affecting my singing. For those of you who don't know, I love to sing. I do it constantly. I thought “Why? Why would God put me in a position where I can’t sing praises to him? Doesn’t He know that’s my number one way of worshiping him?” At the same time, I’ve really been convicted about having a positive attitude no matter what your circumstances. So after lots of thinking and praying I have decided that I will have joy and have a good attitude no matter what. In my school's chapel (Axis) we talked about joy, gentleness and kindness. The speaker said something about her mother that really impacted me. She said despite the pain her mother has gone through with watching her brother and father have cancer AND having cancer herself, she has learned to allow her joy to coexist with her pain. Joy does not equal happiness and neither does it replace pain. Rather it is the decision to have a positive attitude in spite of the pain. This is what I am choosing to do.
My favorite verse says, “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thes 5:16-18 NIV. I am just now realizing how closely related those things are. In my striving to become joyful, I have prayed a lot more about it. And when they negative thoughts come to my head, I remember to be joyful by start thanking God for the things that ARE good! It’s a beautiful picture that only God could paint. By myself I am weak, pathetic and honestly quite a complainer. But with God I can learn to be better than that, but only with his power! I can be strong, have endurance and trust him to take care of it instead of worrying. (The worry is probably the root of my complaining anyway!)
No matter how long it takes to get my health back to normal, I know that God will be there with me. He will provide exactly what I need to get through it. And when it comes to singing, maybe I got it wrong. Maybe when I am worshiping I am worshiping the singing more than God Himself. Now that I can’t sing I have nothing to do but completely focus on God. I know some things still don’t make sense like why I have to deal with this in the first place, but I know that God is there with me. I won’t go through a bit of it alone. Praise be to God.